Billy's Blog
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June 1, 2016, 1:45 PM

It's not easy being me

I used to laugh at the idea of someone having to go "find themselves." Ok, I admit that I still kind of laugh at the notion, although at least I'm aware now that I should not laugh at people...much. I just have never been able to put my finger on just what it means to "find myself." I can't say that I know any more about this than I did 20 years ago, but I have some ideas into what I think people are going through. This is not endorsed by any therapist or doctor, so take it for what it's worth. 

God created us. I hope you agree with this. If you do not agree I'm not real sure why you're reading this blog on this church website. He created us individually. We are not created as a group. We have unique DNA that makes us special and unique. The Bible says that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made." The problem that some of us have with this truth is not that God created's how he did it. We struggle to be happy with his creation. We are too short or too tall. We are too thick or too think. We have too much hair or not enough. We are too smart or not smart enough. We are too dark or too light. We wished we had different talents and we aren't all that happy with the ones we have. 

We are constantly trying to be someone we are not or wishing it so much that we might as well try it. We don't really like who we are so we try to be someone else. When people say, "I'm going to go try to find myself", I think it can be translated, "I'm not really happy with who I am and I hope to go find a new me." 

The apostle Paul was not happy with his life. In 2 Corinthians 12 Paul pleaded with God on three separate occasions to remove this "thorn in his flesh." We don't know what this thorn was. Some scholars say it could have been poor eyesight due to the fact that he was blinded by God on the way to Damascus. Maybe it was some other physical ailment, since it was a thorn in the FLESH. Whatever it was God said, no. Here's what he told him, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9)

What was God telling him? God was telling him that this was his life. He was not going to change this for Paul. Paul was going to have to learn to deal with it, and not only could he deal with it but he could prosper. God's grace was enough for him, and in his weakness God could even shine. 

You may feel like Paul. You wish God would do something better in your life. You are not really happy with your life. You may want things to change. But what if God tells you, "my grace is enough for you, live your life." 

You are stuck with you...and it's great! I've spent so much wasted time worrying about fitting my life into a certain mold that I thought I needed to fit into. Just like you I've had a lot of voices in my life telling me how I should live and what I should be like. I have flaws. I have things I don't like about myself. But God made me this way for a reason. I can either lament it my whole life and be held back by things I can't control or I can move forward and live my life. 

I love what Paul says in Ephesians 2:10, "For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works,which God prepared in advance for us to do." God created me specifically for a calling that fits me. He's got great stuff prepared for me to do. I need to quit looking for myself and just look for what God's got for me to do. 

I may not really know what it is yet, but it's gotta be good!


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