Billy's Blog
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October 11, 2016, 2:23 PM

Who's To Blame? (move on)

When something bad happens and the finger is pointed at us we go into defensive blame mode. I don't know if this is what it is really called, but it's what I call it. We immediately get defensive whether we are guilty or not. If we are guilty we almost immediately look for someone to blame. I did it, can fill in the blanks. They were driving too fast. My dad wasn't good to me. We were raised so poor. I have this condition. You don't understand these people. It isn't my job. Oh, the blame game can be quite extensive and complicated. 

I have an idea. Stay with me because it's a really complicated, drawn out proposition that may just cause you to have a migraine headache as you ask Siri for answers. Here it is. Are you ready? Let's take responsiblity for our actions. 

Wow...that was intense, wasn't it? 

Here are three definitons for responsiblity:

1. the state of being the person who caused something to happen

2. a duty or task that you are required or expected to do. 

3. something that you should do because it is morally right, legally required, etc. 

Blame is a lot different than responsbility. Blame is actually the exact opposite of it. When you start blaming you are looking to shift responsbility. It might be called in a more crude sense, "throwing someone under the bus." You are looking to find someone, anyone to take the blame and be responsible. Anyone, that is, except for you. I can see a trend in our culture of doing this. 

I know that not all homes were like my home, but in my home my parents made me take responsbiility. When a teacher or principal would have an issue with me my parents did not defend me. They listened and then came and talked to me. My dad always said, "Who am I going to believe, you or an adult?" So I was taught that I have to take responsibility for my actions. You talk to any teacher or administrator in the school system today and this is not the case. Most parents are taking the side of their child and dismissing anything that either a teacher or principal has to say. It's a really discouraging state of affairs. So what do we do about it? 

*Realize that it's never too late to teach responsibility. I had a mother one time come up to me and was really discouraged over one of her children. She had bailed her child out way too much in the child's life and he very little sense of responsbility. The problem was this "child" was now 35 years old. I told the mom that this was her chance. She realized her mistakes and she could stop them now. Don't bail your child out anymore, but make them pay the piper. You still have a chance to teach a lesson. 

*Demand it from other people. If you are a boss don't let people cast blame around, you make them take responsibility for their actions. If you are a teacher don't settle for excuses. If you are a coach make your players step up and do the right thing. Hold them to their commitments. Don't settle for the blame game. 

*Take responsbility yourself. I looked up the idea of responsbility in the Bible. While the actual word may not be present I found 68 verses that can relate to personal responsibility. When you appear before God you will be held accountable for YOUR life not anyone else's. Set the example in front of your children, your players, your employees, your spouse, your classmates, and your co-workers. Be willing to admit when you are wrong. Be willing to step up and say it was your fault and your fault alone. Be willing to take on a task and complete. Be willing to fix your mistakes. 

I've done my share of running away and blaming others. All it got me in life was deeper in trouble. Move on past the blame game. Step up and take responsibility. Like any new change it may be painful in the beginning, but you will have a much more prosperous life if you do this. Obedience to God always brings healing to your life...ALWAYS. 

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